|Natural Complementary Therapies - your key to improved health and well-being|
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Talk Therapy - When You Just Want to Talk
A professional counselling service by an experienced counsellor
If you've never had counselling before, it's a type of talking therapy where you can talk to a counsellor about any problems that you don't seem to be able to solve yourself, or any feelings that may be bringing you down or holding you back. Counselling will teach you that you really do have it in you to solve your problems and to understand your emotions, and it will guide you toward creating a compelling future.
However much pain and hurt you are feeling right now, counselling will help you identify with the feelings of the people around you that you love. Counselling can help you get out of despair and face the future, by helping you to access the positive emotions that you have perhaps consciously stifled for so long. Counselling aims to help you deal with feelings of desperation and isolation, and to overcome issues that are causing you pain or making you feel uncomfortable.
Relationship counselling is a huge part of my practice and I find it a privilege to help singles, or couples, to make the most of their relationship, whether that's healing the hurt of betrayal, or replacing what's been lost through complacency. Counselling also helps you to understand and cope better with the stresses and strains of family life, work, your finances and your health.
Shift toward a new way of life
Talk therapy, like counselling, can be an incredibly successful way to treat many different health and emotion conditions. Here are some of the things you may have considered seeking help for:
• Abandonment - abandonment can happen to us at anytime in our lives. From a baby, or young child who's parent leaves them, to the teenager who sees their parents relationship falling apart, to a marriage partner leaving, to a partner dying and leaving you all alone. The pain of abandonment is probably one of the worst emotional pains any of us will ever have to bear. Counselling can help you heal your heart.
• Abuse - abuse can come in many forms, too many to mention here, and from sources that you may have trusted and believed in. This can affect you emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually, for many years after. Talking will help you improve your feelings of self worth.
• Addictions - addictions occur when you become overly dependant on a specific substance because something is missing elsewhere. Counselling guides you to find what's missing in your life and help you stop your addictive behaviour.
• Adoption - being adopted can affect you in many ways, as like being abandoned, you can feel torn, rejected, angry, frustrated, lost and with a deep sense of sadness. Talk therapy is a super way to explore how you feel, what you think, and what you can do now to work through those feelings.
• Anger management - there's nothing wrong with being angry, except when you understand what it is doing to your insides, your mind, to your family and to your personal relationships. Learn to find new ways to make your point, so that appropriate anger is all you're left with.
• Anxiety - anxiety goes hand in hand with worry, and worry is a waste of time and energy. Why? Because you are looking forward to something that hasn't happened yet. Anxiety CAN look backwards, like if you drove through a speed camera, you can be anxious that you might get a ticket. Anxiety won't change the outcome one way or the other, but counselling can help you find ways to stop anxiety tearing yourself apart. Let's talk.
• Bereavement - we all grieve in our own way, sometimes dramatically, sometimes conservatively. One aspect of talking over bereavement is to help find empowering meanings when a loved one dies. It is normal to feel sad or angry when someone we love dies or leaves us. Talking can help you explore your feelings of grief, anger, loss, loneliness or even denial and bring healing to your heart.
• Bullying - bullying, either as the victim or the perpetrator, is about power on the one side and pain or distress on the other. From the playground to retirement, bullying can destroy lives both emotionally and physically. Talk your way through to empowerment.
• Careers - this can be about goal setting, preparing for interviews, managing others (including your boss), or even exploring whether this is a good long term choice for you.
• Childhood issues - with children I think it is fascinating to see the unique different ways they understand and deal with things, and this affects their behaviour. To a parent sometimes this is far from ideal. Children can be embarrassed or fearful about expressing their worries, and so their problems go unresolved, sometimes for years, ultimately being expressed as bullying, or anger, or worse. Counselling is an ideal platform for children to talk freely about what concerns them.
• Depression - left untreated depression can last for months, even years. It can affect your mood, your body, your feelings, your behaviour, your sleep and thoughts. Counselling can be a useful tool in dealing with what is driving the depression, whether it's by circumstances or chemistry.
• Eating disorders - mainly the eating disorders I see are anorexia and bulimia. But eating disorders generally are very common. By exploring the consequences and obsession with weight, looks, feelings, relationships and health, we can often repair the emotional pain and improve the self esteen, helping you take back control of your life.
• Emotional distress/trauma/baggage - we've all got it, we all have to deal with it one way or another. Sometimes we do that constructively and some people can even use that energy to succeed and create a remarkable life. But for others of us it's not so easy to turn things around. Through talking and demonstrating I will show you how to scramble all the bad memories and take the sting out of them, so that you free yourself from these memories.
• Health related issues - the point of counselling about health issues, is not to heal you, but to help you explore all your options. Sometimes family are too close to be objective in this regard, but talk therapy is a good way to help work through your feelings.
• Loss - loss is one of the most painful experiences any of us will have to face. The mental, physical and emotional feelings that follow can be overwhelming, such as shock, blame, anger, guilt and emptiness. Talking can be a useful support during this difficult period in your life.
• Motivation (lack of) - lack of motivation can hold any of us back from achieving the things we want, and we just sit around in the background while everyone else is having all the fun. True of you?? Making change in our lives is never a matter of ability. It's not a question of, you've got it or you haven't got it. It's a matter of motivation and drive. Talk therapy can help you find yours.
• Obsessive or intrusive thoughts and memories - counselling can help you gain mastery over these intrusive thoughts and memories.
• Personal development - know what you want and figuring out how to get it. Taking control is key here, so you don't become overwhelmed. You become what you think about most of the time! So if you only focus on what you DON'T want, what makes you stressed, what you screwed up in the past, the mistakes you made, you're not going to get where you want to be. It's time to change it.
• Phobias - an irrational fear of something, situations or an activity. Most rational people know that normal fear is ok, but unreasonable fear is destructive. Counselling can put these thoughts and fears into perspective.
• PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) - ptsd is caused by a frightening, distressing or traumatic event. It might have developed over time, or in a single moment, but the traumatic event is relived through nightmares or flashbacks and can cause problems with sleeping, family relationships, emotional detachment and isolation. Talk therapy plus action can be very effective here.
• Redundancy - redundancy is stressful. The cause of your stress is mainly due to feelings of rejection and your ability to survive and support your family. Counselling can help you explore your feelings of self worth, your options and choices, and put everything else into perspective.
• Relationships - relationship counselling, couple counselling, helping both of you identify your human needs and where they are missing, and what you can do to heal the gap, restore the trust, recreate the bond and reignite the passion.
• Self confidence and self-esteem - when you feel rejected, or criticized, or hopeless, or negative, and the object of someone else's derision, it can be very easy for some of this to erode your self confidence and self esteem. Comparing yourself to others is one of the fastest routes into depression. Counselling can give you the tools to become more assertive and will likely be much more useful than just telling the other person to 'sod off!' On the other hand ......
• Self-harm - self harm can become a very addictive behaviour when it has been going on for some time. You become addicted to the feelings of relief that self harm gives you and expert at hiding it from those around you. It is a coping strategy against feelings of emotional pain and distress, but is it very destructive. Talk therapy is centered around giving you more choices to feel good about yourself and to solve your problems.
• Sex related problems - sexual problems occur in a relationship when there is a power struggle going on, or couples are horse trading for sex, or punishing each other. Where do you go when you have a need for love and attention? Is your first instinct to be close with your partner? After a time of intense sexual activity, why do so many marriages end up as low sex or no sex relationships? The strength of any relationship is directly proportional to each persons willingness to be truthful, playful, sexy, crazy, wild, sensual and open to receiving and giving love and attention. Talking openly is the best way to solve this problem.
• Sexual, emotional and physical abuse - when you are pressured into a sexual act against your will, you are being sexually abused. The guilt and shame that follows is often enough to ensure silence and therefore feelings of blame can brew well into adulthood. Often this is when the problems manifest in a dysfunctional relationship. Talk therapy can help you find the emotional resources to rebuild your life and self belief.
• Sexual infidelity - have you been caught, or are you looking to make amends for an extramarital affair? Or, are you the faithful spouse who is confused and wondering what's hit you? Usually there is something missing from the human needs, or there can be power issues, or opportunity and ego take over. Whatever the reason, talk therapy can help you come back from the brink of total relationship failure.
• Stress and Anxiety - we all seem to live stressful lives nowadays, and while some stress can be a good thing, but too many of us are stressed beyond all reason, and this is not good for any of us. Too much stress means your health can suffer, your family can suffer, and so can your own self worth. The type of counselling I do is very action orientated and the tools for dealing with stress are part of the strategy.
• Work related problems - it's a sad fact that too few of us actually like our jobs and that fact alone is responsible for much of the stress and frustration in the workplace. It doesn't help that businesses are under tremendous pressure to increase profits and force workers to do longer hours, put up with incompetent managers and impossible deadlines. It's like the whole thing's geared to make life hell and this leads to poor health, bullying, insomnia, drinking, stress and mistakes. Talk therapy is a big help in this area.
All of these conditions can leave you feeling disempowered and challenged, and thinking with your emotions during this time allows feelings like guilt, shame, anger, blame, self loathing and any of a few dozen others to take over. Counselling can become the driving force for reigniting passion and playfulness in your relationship and creating success in your life. You do this by taking action, solving your problems, creating change and challenging destructive emotions.
Emotion is the force of life
Done effectively, counselling clears emotional trauma. Done exceptionally, counselling clears emotional trauma, for good! Most people carry around, or drag behind them, a large collection of emotional problems, that clutters their mind and weighs heavy in their body, exhausting them and impairing their effectiveness and happiness. We even call it baggage. Counselling is very effective at reducing and clearing out the baggage and producing results that hold strong over time.
We all have childhood memories and we preserve them in our unconscious in the form of stories that we remember and retell over and over again. One question that needs answering is this; Why is it so much easier to remember and believe in a negative, painful story from the past, than a good one? Living with negative stories where there is nothing but blame as the outcome means you hand control of your emotions about that story over to someone else. You relinquish control, and so healing from that story is impossible. What I try to achieve with my own flavour of counselling is to re-examine those stories with the heart and mind of the person you are today. What this does is enable you to appreciate the positive as well as the negative, to develop a new ownership over your past, and the ability to choose and create a new future.
Use Talk Therapy to create a breakthrough whenever you're stuck. Solve your personal and relationship issues with the help of an experienced counsellor. Therapy can help you to develop important problem-solving skills and also teach you the value of seeking help in a timely manner. I hope you have found this information useful and feel encouraged to give The Haven's counselling therapy a try. Please contact me if you want to find out about appointments and prices. I look forward to welcoming you soon. Phil.
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Note: DISCLAIMER: This information is not presented by a medical practitioner and is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read.
It's a small investment in yourself, but could be a life-changing experience you will cherish forever.
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