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The Haven Healing Centre
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Anger Management - Effective Anger Control

Lasting Success From Anger Issues - Confidentiality Guaranteed!

Anger Management Training and Counselling for Bristol, Bath, Somerset, and the South West

There is no doubt that uncontrolled anger ruins lives!
It destroys families, it ruins relationships, it alienates your friends and family who think you're just a big kid trying to get their own way, or worse, a damned bully who they'd rather not know. You start by wondering what all the fuss is about, but eventually you get the message that people you care about don't like you! Every time you 'blow your top', somebody else, who probably loves you very much, is dying inside.

Driver with road rage People who cannot control their anger find they have nowhere to turn for help, because sufficient intervention therapy and education don't exist, and family breakdown, sickness and mental health problems, unless they can be pigeon-holed into depression or anxiety, panic, phobia, eating disorder or a range of other psychological and emotional problems, then nothing specific exists to help them.

The Mental Health Foundation says anger is often dealt with only after someone has committed an aggressive crime. But of course, by then it's too late, because they are in trouble with the police. In addition, chronic and intense anger has been linked to heart disease, cancer, stroke, persistent colds and flu as well as depression, self-harm and substance abuse.

Has anger become a large part of your life? Are you ruining relationship after relationship because of anger? Need help and don't know where to turn? Find out below how to get the help you need to successfully manage your anger.

Anger is more likely to have a negative effect on relationships than any other emotion. You can choose to stay angry at everyone, but in the end it will destroy you. Or, you can choose to let go of that anger, to start the healing process and live life again.

What will counselling at The Haven Healing Centre do for me?
You will learn what anger is, how to control your own anger, and how to rebuild your relationships, both at home and at work. I will help you look at how your anger affects you personally, discuss details of how you display your anger and the timings of your anger, what triggers your anger and perhaps who is mainly on the receiving end of your anger. Sometimes this will be the person who has asked you to go for counselling, or sometimes a person, (male or female) becomes introspective and really wants to take stock of their lives, to take a long hard look, in a critical way, at their lives and where it is going.

This is when you perhaps first realize that most other people have more friends than you do. Perhaps they are invited out more and have more fun than you do. Perhaps you see other people as more contented than you, and things don't bother them so much as they do you. It is at times like these that you may decide to refer yourself for counselling.

Why is anger so wrong? It makes me feel powerful!
Banging a fist on the table Anger is not wrong. Whatever gave you that idea? No, it's not anger that is wrong, it's what you do with it that is causing you grief. Look, if someone throws a brick through your window, you have every right to be angry at them. If you get ripped off at a market stall, or your ID is stolen and your credit card used fraudulently, anger is a natural reaction. If you get cut up at a roundabout and the other driver just drives off not even realizing, you may swear at them, show a finger, or you can become tense and upset. You know that anger is a problem for you when you go tearing after them to 'hug' their bumper, overtake them or cut them up in return. On the other hand, anger can, at times, keep you safe, provide you with inspiration, give you endurance and make your point very effectively.

Anger makes you feel powerful because its basis is energy. Anger is energy. Have you noticed how, when you get angry you feel energized? Your body gets a tremendous hit of adrenaline. it's the use to which you put that anger and energy that determines whether it is good or bad. So don't look at your anger as good or bad, right or wrong, just look at it as there, as something you have to deal with, before it deals with you.

One thing is certain when it comes to anger, and in particular, uncontrolled anger. Either you gain control over it, or it will take over where you don't want it too, and it may even destroy your life altogether. This will be the case already for hundreds, or thousands of people, who will eventually read this article.

Where did my temper come from? I don't even remember when it first started.
There can be 10,000 answers to this question. Because it is different for everyone. This is part of the art of counselling, figuring out the triggers. One of the best ways of finding out is to ask yourself, or someone close to you, 'How long have I had these anger tantrums?', or 'when did you first notice that I was developing a problem controlling my anger?'. Happy family In a marital relationship, this may receive a response like, 'When your mother/father died' or 'when you were made redundant from your job at .....'. Sometimes a partner will say, 'You've always been a hot head, at least, ever since I've known you'. It's worth noting here that for many people coping with anger is a lifelong struggle.

You don't have to spend the rest of your life struggling with your anger, hurting yourself and everyone around you. Learn to deal with your anger in different and more effective ways. Break the habitual way you react to certain situations. Stop arguing over trivia. Learn better ways to handle frustration and disappointment. Learn to relax, chill out and listen to others opinions. Become more flexible and become a happier, healthy person to your whole family.

Some anger treatment options you may have already tried
  • Beating cushions - This can be useful if you normally express your anger physically
    • I don't, personally, subscribe to this one, but some people find it useful.
  • Punch bag - (as used by a boxer) at least this is designed to be abused and will last longer
  • Writing down your feelings - can be useful to dissipate emotions or put things in perspective
  • Drawing - same as writing, but can give a visual expression and therefore a clue to the reasons for your anger
  • Internet - Go online and beat the crap out of another online gamer using your mouse and keyboard (I've known many keyboards that have decorated a wall, however briefly, using this strategy, so use with caution)
  • Exercise - This I do go along with. Exercise, regular exercise, is the great lifter of spirit, balance, emotional stability, health and wellbeing
  • Dancing - Dancing is just exercise, but for many it really represents 'letting the hair down' and exposing oneself to potential criticism
  • Talking - Talking too is a great tool for analysis. It helps toward finding the triggers, and if we're lucky, the original trigger
  • Laughter - Go on, give it a try sometime. It is impossible to be angry when you are laughing
  • Tell Jokes - Humour is the great diffuser, and is as above but with words. The end result of a good joke is usually a jolly good laugh
  • Music - Play some of your favourite music. Close your eyes and become absorbed in it, carried away with notes and voices
  • Relax - Use a breathing technique and find a way to relax. If you don't know how, this CD will help you
  • Walking - This follows on from exercise. Try combining walking with mp3 music, or, when you have walked and found a quiet place to sit, your CD will make an ideal accompaniment whilst discharging angry thoughts.
  • Cycling - Tennis, golf, football, squash, badmington, snooker, darts (actually, leave darts alone for the time being), but you get the idea
  • Yoga - This is a great way to find control in one's life
Enjoy a happy relationship I do question the efficacy of some of these ideas as all they do is provide an outlet for anger without actually dealing with the problem. In other words, it's not a problem that your anger is out of control, provided you vent it this way, and not that way.

This to me is not very helpful, and in some ways shows fairly primitive thinking in terms of therapy. Also, it doesn't address the problem of what your anger is doing to you mentally and physically. Most research shows that getting people to express their anger actually makes the problem worse. And so, for that reason, I do not use these types of treatment.

The effects of anger
Anger affects the body negatively in many ways. It causes stress, it ties your stomach in knots, you can shake, sweat, have palpitations and panic. Your friends eventually leave you, you become lonely and very negative. Your health begins to suffer and may even be destroyed through early heart conditions, stress related illness, digestive illness and pain. You begin to lose respect for yourself and you face rejection from all sides. Man was not meant to live this way.

Most angry people don't even realize they are angry. They have lived with it for so long that they don't know when they are angry and when they are calm. They don't regard their feelings as unusual. All an angry person cares about is winning, at any cost, and will go out of their way to put another person down just to win. What they don't realize is that uncontrolled anger hurts you as well as everybody else around you.

Anger can make you or break you. When you deal with your anger effectively, it makes you honest to yourself and helps you to feel good inside. That's a worthy ambition as anything else leads to hate and trouble.

Beat anger before it beats you. The emotional and physical pain that comes from the continual physiological arousal can take many minutes to switch off. Continuing to engage in thought anger keeps reactivating the physiological responses and it never goes away. Learn to break this cycle effectively and efficiently, without embarrassment, shame, or guilt. Learn the techniques you can use to calm down the physiology in a caring environment. If you are worried that your marriage is on the rocks, or your partner has become so afraid to tell you for fear of sparking an anger episode, then the sooner you do something about it, the better. Success creates a very high likelihood of relationship resolution. Don't wait! The sooner we start, the sooner you will see improvement, and a return to a happy relationship. I hope you have found this information useful and feel encouraged to look for a solution. Please contact me if you want to find out about appointments and prices. I look forward to hearing from you. Phil.

Please share this page with your friends. Thank you.

PS: I saw a brilliant tag line in a blog once; it said: I wouldn't need to manage my anger if other people could learn to manage their stupidity. Smile!
All These Areas Are Within Easy Reach of The Haven Healing Centre, Cheddar, Somerset
Abbots Leigh - Ashwick - Avonmouth - Axbridge - Babington - Backwell - Badgworth - Bagley - Banwell - Barrow Gurney - Bason Bridge - Bath - Beckington - Berrow - Biddisham - Bishop Sutton - Bitton - Blackford - Blagdon - Bleadon - Bleadney - Bradford-on-Avon - Brean - Brent Knoll - Bristol - Burnham-on-Sea - Burrington - Butcombe - Cameley - Catcott - Chantry - Chapel Allerton - Cheddar - Chelwood - Chew Magna - Chew Stoke - Chilcompton - Churchill - Clapton - Claverham - Claverton - Cleeve - Clevedon - Clutton - Cocklake - Coleford - Compton Bishop - Compton Dando - Compton Martin - Congresbury - Coxley - Cranmore - Cross - Downhead - Draycott - Dundry - Dunkerton - East Brent - East Harptree - East Huntspill - Easton-in-Gordano - Edithmead - Emborough - Englishcombe - Evercreech - Failand - Farmborough - Farrington Gurney - Felton - Flax Bourton - Freshford - Frome - Glastonbury - Godney - Green Ore - Gurney Slade - Highbridge - Highbury - High Littleton - Hinton Blewett - Hutton - Inglesbatch - Kelston - Kenn - Kewstoke - Keynsham - Kilmersdon - Kingston Seymour - Langford - Litton - Locking - Long Ashton - Lower Weare - Loxton - Lympsham - Mark - Marksbury - Mells - Midsomer Norton - Monkton Combe - Nailsea - Nempnett Thrubwell - Nettlebridge - Newbury - Oldmixon - Paulton - Peasedown - Pensford - Pilton - Portishead - Prestleigh - Priddy - Priston - Pucklechurch - Pudlow - Puxton - Queen Charlton - Radstock - Redhill - Rickford - Ridgehill - Rodney Stoke - Rooks Bridge - Rowberrow - Saltford - Sandford - Shapwick - Shepton Mallet - Shipham - Sidcot - Somerton - Stanton Drew - Star - Staverton - St Georges - Stoke St Michael - Ston Easton - Stone Bridge - Stowey - Street - Temple Cloud - Tickenham - Timsbury - Trowbridge - Ubley - Weare - Wedmore - Wellow - Wells - West Harptree - West Horrington - Weston-Super-Mare - West Pennard - Whatley - Whitchurch - Winford - Winscombe - Wookey - Wraxall - Wrington - Yatton
To book your Confidential Anger Counselling Session at a convenient time, call: 01934 740275

Note: DISCLAIMER: This information is not presented by a medical practitioner and is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read.

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